Who doesn't love a HUGE Berry Purse?

I feel like I'm really stressing out for some reason. Or like my body is being pulled in a ton of directions. Cause I feel calm and at peace but I feel stressed at the same time. I'm probably just off kilter because my Husband is out of town again for work. It still sucks to no end but I think I'm getting better with having him gone. Or maybe it's just this time. Next time could (and probably will) be different.

I realized the other day that I'm recognizing things in myself of how I was when I was younger. Before the 'snap'. I used to be such a book worm and just adore words. I've noticed that that is back. I honestly think the Zoloft that my Doc. gave me for post pardum stuff is the reason why. I'm still way bouncy off the walls and here to there but I'm more me then I have been in.. oh, I'd say 18 or so years. It's wonderful too! I'm taking the lowest amount that they can give you and it's just made a world of a difference. It makes me kinda sad that I still obsess over my body though. I still weigh alot (in my opinion) but my clothes are looser. My wedding rings flop around on my finger where they didn't even really fit me before I got pregnant for my 2nd little one. My body is definately differant.

I've also noticed that I've become obsessed with fashion. I think, in a way, I always have been. I am in love with the 60's era. Always have been. I've noticed a lot of those types of styles are coming back and I'm just in love with it. I used to dress like a total hippie and it was ME! It's who I am.. Then, I gained weight and I was poor and I just couldn't shop. I still can't shop a lot but I've been able to pick up some things here and there.. There are a few things at a local store that I would just LOVE to buy but I can't right now. I've decided that along wtih my book store (which I've been accumulating books for) I'm going to flip clothing. I know places whre I can get super designer clothing for super cheap. Then, I'm going to flip them and sell them for full price. I'll make a major profit! I sat down and figured it all out. I think it's going to be super fun. I'm thinking I need to find something super cheap that I can make a huge profit on this week. I know of a watch that I can get for like $130 and it goes for $1100. That's oober profit! Maybe I can do that this week and go do a major fashion overhaul for myself. That would be fantastic. I've noticed that berry colors and dark rich colors are in style for Fall. Can I say one thing? LOVE IT!!!! I love the berry colors and purple colors that are super in style right now. I so want to get a new purse in a rich berry color. I think that would be fantastic.... I've been stuck on at word lately.

Side Bar: I totally just signed up on Dictionary.com for a word of the day news letter... I'm gonna super dominate in Scrabble next time we play with my parents! WOOT!

Anywho.. I'm feeling super tired. I did a load of shopping today and got myself this nice long sleeved green shirt for fall... oh, and food. BAH! I've been sleeping in my clothes lately it seems.. Not like jeans.. Just sweats and a shirt.. So, I guess I'll just go upstairs and take my bra off and my Halloween Witch socks and climb into the cacoon that I have made out of my bed. When my Husband is gone I pile blankets and pillows and my stuffed Pound Puppy that my Grams made for me when I was like 3 or 4 in the middle of my HUGE bed and just snuggle in.. It's great fun.

I'm not looking forward to when the laxitives I took wake me up in the middle of the night..

and to make things that much better. I have my 'monthly gift'.. Being a Woman Rocks..

I apologize for misspellings.. but I don't care to recheck

Ohhh Boy

I am in severe need of a mental health day. My brain feels so exhausted. I'm trying to find books to build my inventory. I need to find models for the clothes so I can do a shoot and get that over with. On top of taking care of my family and home. On top of saying I would start going to Weight Watchers meetings with my Mother-In-Law. The cat got locked in what will be my youngest daughters room and pooed on the floor. Thank goodness that's being replaced anyways. Oh and I'm obviously still a student. I can't seem to not get a B. Most would think that a B is good but I don't and my Mother doesn't. She says I need to study more but it's difficult with so much on my plate.

I feel like I'm going crazy and my brain is falling to mush. and I seriously don't have time to write that much right now. No matter how much I want to.

I'm so A.D.D.

I'm feeling very frustrated right now by people. So many people.

My 'sister' and her husband are nothing but lazy. He has hip and back problems and she 'can't work with people'. Or something. They don't pay their bills and it seems as though they expect other people to help them all the time. Be it the Gov. or my parents. Everything that is going on right now just has the lady who gave birth to us's stench all over it.. and it stinks bad! I give them 3 months before they start losing their house. They have this new payment thing now. If they don't pay the $300 some dollars by the due date the percentage rate goes up and the payment doubles. If they don't pay it that month the percentage rate goes up again and doubles again. So, it would be over $1200. My Mom and I were talking this afternoon saying that because when my husband and I were in a bad way they let us move in with them. My husband was working and I was pregnant with our 2nd child and going to school. We were activly looking for a house and paying off all of our bills that were holding us back. Anyways... My Mom and I both know that they are going to expect my parents to let them move in there because of the fact that they let my family move in there for a while. My Mom said there was no way they were moving in there though. She said she wouldn't be able to stand being around them and their kids all day because they're all brats. They break everything. I could constantly bitch about them for forever.

I'm also frustrated with my husband right now. It takes so much to get him to actually do things that are productive, not just cook sometimes and make a mess for me to clean up. Aside from him having the job and me being housewife and Mommy and not really 'earning' money, it almost seems like I'm a single parent. He doesn't even know how to do the littlest things involving the kids sometimes it seems. It seems like he just wants to play with them and that's it. I know this isn't true and I love my Husband, sometimes he just frustrates the HELL out of me.

I've also been collecting books to start my book store. I'm going to start it on Amazon 1st before I find a building and finish school. I also was thinking of other things that I'm going to sell in my store. I figure I'm just gonna go for it and sell out. Sell novelty 'witch baskets' I'll explain more about them later.. I know they'll sell just because people buy stuff like them all the time..

Anyways.. I'm outie. I gotta find something to do..

what? I'm goin' back to sleep

It's early. Well, not that early but I've been up for forever though it seems. I'm so tired. I'm finally better! The girls are still sick and now my husband is sick. Dangit.
My lower abs hurt. Which is good. That's a difficult place to work out for a woman, I guess. I did some pilates yesterday. Only have the work out cause my littest weee one started fussin' so I had to go get her. I may join weight watchers with my mother in law. That should be strange. Anything to get the weight off though. I only have 5 lbs to get 1lb below my weight before I got pregnant with my oldest. I've been workin' it really hard!! I hate actual excersize too. I love walking and swimming. Stuff that doesn't actually seem like exersize. Arobics and crap, I have to literaly force myself to get off my ass and do it. I hate working out. Lucky for me I have 'on demand' so I can switch up my work out often.
I need to go lay back down. My brain feels like mush. Maybe I'll write more later.

I'm a Murderer....

... of germs! I've been sick for like the past 4-5 days. Just a cold with a slight fever here and there but this morning I woke up and was coughing crap up. This means I'm getting better so I started 'mission disinfect'!! I've done the bathroom and Madison's room. I've got a bunch of windows open. and I have a ton left to do! It's probably going to take a few days. I needed to take a break though so I figured I'd come and chillax down here and what not.

I took my CH.2 test yesterday. Got a B... again! Damnit! I just can't seem to shake gettin' 3 wrong every test so far. What do I have to do?? Besides study.. MORE. Which I know I have to do, but it's a little bit hard when you have a toddler and a baby living in the house. Plus, I'm behind on house work because, like I said, I've been sick.

I finally got my blueberries in the freezer this morning though, which is a step in the right direction. I'm somewhat upset because my Mommy has been doing peach jam and I could've helped make some myself but she can't afford to get sick right now cause she has no immune system. She said that she made a enough to give some to me though. I just wish I could've helped.

My husbands littlest brother was in the hospital last night. He was a severely premature baby and even though he's 12 now he still gets breathing problems. I guess last night around 12:30 he went into his parents bedroom and told them he couldn't breathe. They were in the emergency room most the night. He's at home and doing good. Just resting and they have to keep an eye on him. It makes me understand why whenever I tell my husbands mother anything about my babies, like they've been extra tired or something, why she gets a little freaked. Sometimes it bugs me cause she spazes so easily but I have to remember about her youngest son. It makes me understand...

Anyways.. I have tons to do..

Life and Times of a Chicken Noodle Soup Making Bibliophile

I'm totally buggin' today. I'm not used to my Husband being gone. I don't think I'll ever get used to it. It's not like I don't have enough to do here at home. I have plenty to do! It all just seems weird when he's not home and I get a little down. We talk constantly on the phone and stuff it's just not the same.

Yesterday I went and did my shopping and my sister was kind enough to go with and help me. It's a little difficult with two babies and a cart load. Being the bibliophiles we are I bought 9 books. Mostly classics. Adventures of Tom Sawyer, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, A Wrinkle in Time, Secret Garden, ect. I also got John Grisham's 'Playing for Pizza' and The Alchemyst: The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel by Michael Scott. I also got a book for my oldest about animals in the ocean and my sister got her Charlotte's Web. I'm quite excited! Although, I'm going to need a bigger book case soon. In time I plan to have a seperate room where the walls are built in book cases so I can just have my own library. Plus, my book store. I love it!! I'm getting all happy just thinking about it! I love books!! See what a good influence they have on me?

I need to go vacuum and so I can bring the vacuum and broom back upstairs so I can finish cleaning the kitchen so I can start making my chicken noodle soup. Yum. There's nothing like home made chicken noodle soup on a nice fall day. Even if the temp. went up to 68 and needs to desperately go back down to 61..

World's Yummiest Alfredo Sauce

I just posted but I remembered I wanted to share this recipe for the worlds yummiest and biggest artery clogging Alfredo Sauce,


Melt 1 stick (1/2C.) Real Butter in a sauce pan.
Add 1/4t. salt
Parsley flakes
Pepper to taste
4 cloves garlic chopped fine
Simmer about 5 minutes
add 1/2C. GOOD parm. cheese (block or shreaded)
2pts. (2 of the smaller containers) of sour cream
Gently heat through
Good for 1lb noodles


It's sooooo gooood!!! You'll love it!

What?

My Husband is in Tennesse for work and I feel more .... I don't even know the word for it. For some reason it seems like I can't do anything! I keep spilling things and freaking out. Which is not good because for the most part I keep this house flowing. Yes, I'm a stay at home Mom. I don't go out of the house for a job. At home I manage the finances, make and keep track of appointments, do the shopping, cook, clean, give baths, take care of pets. I have to study for my class. It doesn't help that I'm totally OCD when it comes to cleaning. I have to have everything in a place and with two babies that's not always easy. I do live a fairly comfortable life though. I do a lot to be able to get the things I want. I've been busy looking for a small at home job that I can do. I always enjoyed making my own money. It's something that makes a person feel accomplished. Even if it's just a little bit of money.

My mind is drifting right now. I can't write.. Maybe I will later. I have to study.