Takin' a Breather

Okay.. So, my Husband got another job.. In a place he worked like 2 years ago. It was the best job oportunity for him right now. He had to take a slight pay cut but I think we'll be okay. I'm doing the whole selling book thing but I'm pretty much just breaking even. I've also been ponding the thought of giving beginners piano lessons to make a little extra cash. It's something I've just been rolling around in my head the past couple days. I have no idea where to start. I took lessons for 7 years and I was damn good if I may say so. My Mom suggested I call my old teacher and ask her some questions about starting it up. Plus, I have to price out music and try and get students.. Should be interesting if I do it.

Otherwise, not much else goin' on here. Nothing new anyways..

We're just able to breathe now that we know we will be having some cash coming in.

The Price of Being Happy

My Husband got laid off..

2 Words.... WE'RE FUCKED.

We had a good 6 months.. Aparantly though our life is supposed to suck..

The List Keeps Building.

I'm so totally tired it's unreal. I offically added another job title to my list today. Business Owner. I've got my Amazon shop up and running. Troutman Books & Beyond. I have already made some sales so I've been running around buying up those bubble envelopes and labels and all that jazz.. I've made a list of a bunch of stuff I have to get. Thank goodness for my Mom too. She gave me a few helpful tips. Bless her soul.

I've been so busy with everything and it's pissing me off cause I'm starting to not be able to sleep again. Which scares the shiz out of me to be completely honest. I need unchemicalized sleep or my brain just goes all wacky.

I'm losing weight on the Weight Watches.. Well, I technically only did the counting points thing for like a week. Once I got the jist of it I started eating way more veggies and getting more exercise. And it's just sheddin' off. Which makes me happy. I'm offically back down to pre pregnant with 1st Baby Girl weight. YaY!!

Whatever.. I need to try and go to bed.

Blessing

When I was younger, I never wanted any kids at all. Now I have the two most amazing little girls in the whole world and I know that I was supposed to have children. I was supposed to be a Mommy. There are somedays when the two I have is enough and I think I could go the rest of my life with out having anymore. Then, there are days like today. Where I could stand having six kids! or 8 kids! They are the most amazing things in the world. There is absolutly nothing better then to watch them learn and grow. To see their smiling faces when you get them up in the morning. Nothing will melt your heart more then when you hear them say "Hi MaMa"! Or when they come running to you with open arms for a hug or a kiss. To be completely honest, I think the days when I feel the two children I have is enough are just fluke days. I think I'm supposed to have more kids. I'm a damn good Mom and I would be nothing short of honored and blessed to have each and every child I bring into this world call me MaMa.

Who doesn't love a HUGE Berry Purse?

I feel like I'm really stressing out for some reason. Or like my body is being pulled in a ton of directions. Cause I feel calm and at peace but I feel stressed at the same time. I'm probably just off kilter because my Husband is out of town again for work. It still sucks to no end but I think I'm getting better with having him gone. Or maybe it's just this time. Next time could (and probably will) be different.

I realized the other day that I'm recognizing things in myself of how I was when I was younger. Before the 'snap'. I used to be such a book worm and just adore words. I've noticed that that is back. I honestly think the Zoloft that my Doc. gave me for post pardum stuff is the reason why. I'm still way bouncy off the walls and here to there but I'm more me then I have been in.. oh, I'd say 18 or so years. It's wonderful too! I'm taking the lowest amount that they can give you and it's just made a world of a difference. It makes me kinda sad that I still obsess over my body though. I still weigh alot (in my opinion) but my clothes are looser. My wedding rings flop around on my finger where they didn't even really fit me before I got pregnant for my 2nd little one. My body is definately differant.

I've also noticed that I've become obsessed with fashion. I think, in a way, I always have been. I am in love with the 60's era. Always have been. I've noticed a lot of those types of styles are coming back and I'm just in love with it. I used to dress like a total hippie and it was ME! It's who I am.. Then, I gained weight and I was poor and I just couldn't shop. I still can't shop a lot but I've been able to pick up some things here and there.. There are a few things at a local store that I would just LOVE to buy but I can't right now. I've decided that along wtih my book store (which I've been accumulating books for) I'm going to flip clothing. I know places whre I can get super designer clothing for super cheap. Then, I'm going to flip them and sell them for full price. I'll make a major profit! I sat down and figured it all out. I think it's going to be super fun. I'm thinking I need to find something super cheap that I can make a huge profit on this week. I know of a watch that I can get for like $130 and it goes for $1100. That's oober profit! Maybe I can do that this week and go do a major fashion overhaul for myself. That would be fantastic. I've noticed that berry colors and dark rich colors are in style for Fall. Can I say one thing? LOVE IT!!!! I love the berry colors and purple colors that are super in style right now. I so want to get a new purse in a rich berry color. I think that would be fantastic.... I've been stuck on at word lately.

Side Bar: I totally just signed up on Dictionary.com for a word of the day news letter... I'm gonna super dominate in Scrabble next time we play with my parents! WOOT!

Anywho.. I'm feeling super tired. I did a load of shopping today and got myself this nice long sleeved green shirt for fall... oh, and food. BAH! I've been sleeping in my clothes lately it seems.. Not like jeans.. Just sweats and a shirt.. So, I guess I'll just go upstairs and take my bra off and my Halloween Witch socks and climb into the cacoon that I have made out of my bed. When my Husband is gone I pile blankets and pillows and my stuffed Pound Puppy that my Grams made for me when I was like 3 or 4 in the middle of my HUGE bed and just snuggle in.. It's great fun.

I'm not looking forward to when the laxitives I took wake me up in the middle of the night..

and to make things that much better. I have my 'monthly gift'.. Being a Woman Rocks..

I apologize for misspellings.. but I don't care to recheck

Ohhh Boy

I am in severe need of a mental health day. My brain feels so exhausted. I'm trying to find books to build my inventory. I need to find models for the clothes so I can do a shoot and get that over with. On top of taking care of my family and home. On top of saying I would start going to Weight Watchers meetings with my Mother-In-Law. The cat got locked in what will be my youngest daughters room and pooed on the floor. Thank goodness that's being replaced anyways. Oh and I'm obviously still a student. I can't seem to not get a B. Most would think that a B is good but I don't and my Mother doesn't. She says I need to study more but it's difficult with so much on my plate.

I feel like I'm going crazy and my brain is falling to mush. and I seriously don't have time to write that much right now. No matter how much I want to.

I'm so A.D.D.

I'm feeling very frustrated right now by people. So many people.

My 'sister' and her husband are nothing but lazy. He has hip and back problems and she 'can't work with people'. Or something. They don't pay their bills and it seems as though they expect other people to help them all the time. Be it the Gov. or my parents. Everything that is going on right now just has the lady who gave birth to us's stench all over it.. and it stinks bad! I give them 3 months before they start losing their house. They have this new payment thing now. If they don't pay the $300 some dollars by the due date the percentage rate goes up and the payment doubles. If they don't pay it that month the percentage rate goes up again and doubles again. So, it would be over $1200. My Mom and I were talking this afternoon saying that because when my husband and I were in a bad way they let us move in with them. My husband was working and I was pregnant with our 2nd child and going to school. We were activly looking for a house and paying off all of our bills that were holding us back. Anyways... My Mom and I both know that they are going to expect my parents to let them move in there because of the fact that they let my family move in there for a while. My Mom said there was no way they were moving in there though. She said she wouldn't be able to stand being around them and their kids all day because they're all brats. They break everything. I could constantly bitch about them for forever.

I'm also frustrated with my husband right now. It takes so much to get him to actually do things that are productive, not just cook sometimes and make a mess for me to clean up. Aside from him having the job and me being housewife and Mommy and not really 'earning' money, it almost seems like I'm a single parent. He doesn't even know how to do the littlest things involving the kids sometimes it seems. It seems like he just wants to play with them and that's it. I know this isn't true and I love my Husband, sometimes he just frustrates the HELL out of me.

I've also been collecting books to start my book store. I'm going to start it on Amazon 1st before I find a building and finish school. I also was thinking of other things that I'm going to sell in my store. I figure I'm just gonna go for it and sell out. Sell novelty 'witch baskets' I'll explain more about them later.. I know they'll sell just because people buy stuff like them all the time..

Anyways.. I'm outie. I gotta find something to do..